What to do

What to do...

I saw an ad about some cards that tell what to do in specific situations with bipolar and looked at the sample. It all sounded perfectly logical, but bipolar isn't logical and I'm not sure those ideas would work at all.

Sure, I'm going to suggest that he does something to relieve some stress, maybe take a walk or read a book--but hay, I could suggest sex after he's been chasing me around all afternoon and he'd get mad because I'm telling him what to do. (I'm so controlling.)

I can't get Troy to go in the pool with me or to take a dog for a walk or any thing when he's not "in the mood" for it.

A more realistic set of cards might say:

suggest that he yell at you and chase you around the house with a power tool,

suggest that he watch TV with his eyes shut and scream bloody murder when omeone changes the channel,

suggest that he scream obscenities at the children that he can later punish them for repeating.

at least those are things he's likely to do.

Or maybe:

suggest that he repeat that last comment because you don't think the hidden microphone got it,

suggest that he lock the dogs up before throwing a tantrum so they don't get in the way defending the children,

suggest that he count backwards from ten before he blows up--that's the way dynamite is supposed to work.

it might stop him in his tracks and it helps you to detach.

A few ideas that might actually work.

When Manic

Suggest productive ideas that use a lot of energy, but don't require much detail work. Walking the dog, fixing the hole in the wall from his last episode, carting the hamper downstairs so you can do the laundry.

One item at a time--two is overwhelming and three could bring on a screaming fit.

The only exception to this is that you may offer two ideas as an option--do you want to wash or dry? --do you want to mow the lawn or weed the garden?

Remember that working with gas, electric, or plumbing may be dangerous in manic mode.

Shopping is not a productive activity, even going out for milk can be dangerous. Troy went out for milk once early in our marriage, was gone for two hours and spent $100--but forgot the milk--and I was in the middle of mixing up a cake and needed the milk.

When Depressed

Suggest things that require the least amount of energy short of death. Put a funny movie on instead of talk shows--laughter is exercise and talk shows and soap operas are depressing.

Provide wash cloths for face and arm pits if a bath or shower isn't going to happen. You may notice that this is not a great savings in energy and your BPSO may notice it too--and take a shower instead. (We can always hope)

Keep fresh fruit, salad fixings, and sandwich materials available for easy snacks that also have some nutritional value. Don't buy chips or candy if you can avoid it.

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